firedrill:

Me spending any money that’s physical cash and not in my bank account total : this doesn’t count as spending, it’s not real. It doesn’t exist

Does anyone in the Levihan fandom remember a beautifully written fanfic called “why we can’t” and it was an AU oneshot about how Levi was supposed to marry Petra but was still sleeping with Hange or something like that. It’s been YEARS since I’ve read it and I’d love to read it again if anyone has a link

silverhawk:

my date: hey im kinda hungry, u got anything for me to eat???? :)))

me: oh sure :)))

me: [walks over to my fridge and opens it]

me: the blue ones are my favorite u can have as many orange and purple ones as you want

dulect:

“Have you had previous retail experience?”

humunanunga:

arsoniick:

arsoniick:

arsoniick:

we got a new microwave and i dont know how it works but i wanna see if itll say “CHILD” again if i press buttons enough

have you guys never pressed the start button on your microwave 10 times until the ominous blue text calls you a CHILD?

unfollow if you’ve never been assigned child by microwave

cursedcatimages:

lizbid33:

the duality of man

womanbecomescow:

ss18:

womanbecomescow:

God u know when ur sleepy drunk or high and ur trying to plug the charger into your phone but you keep missing the phones pussy like stay PUT

the phone’s WHAT?

ITS

holdyourghost:

a gps voiced by john mulaney but if you make a wrong turn he just goes

blondloki:

Your eyes when 10 million fireflies: